Even if you’re the new God-sent in town, every request mustn’t be greeted with a ‘yes’. Learning to say “No” sometimes is important to your life; it is a very vital communication skill you must possess. If you are keenly keen on setting boundaries for yourself, and not engaging in unnecessary pleasing, you should know how to say ‘No’. It is just a way of being in charge of your life and not being controlled by others.
Some people struggle with how to say ‘No’ probably because they feel it will portray them as someone selfish, not pleasant. But it shouldn’t be. If you want a healthy and happy future, you just have to embrace how to say ‘No’ because it can dictate how you live your life till your last breath.
When you are firm in making decisions, understanding how to say ‘No’ will help you to be conscious of your limits with others and also be respectful of them. You’ll be able to protect your sanity and energy for something better.
Cultivating the habit of saying ‘No’ places you in a no-conflict position; it shows you have prioritized self-love and care. It is helpful for both your mental and physical health; because you end up not stressed over any issue. If you have difficulty in saying ‘No’ to people; you can start from small requests. You just have to be confident and polite with your answer because saying ‘No’ doesn’t have to be offensive.
One of the reasons why ‘No’ is important to your life is that it brings out the ‘real you’ – not trying to just take anything in the name of being nice. You can even suggest something else to someone you earlier told ‘No’, by giving them another option politely. ‘No’ is not arrogance; it is a way of communicating your taste and priority. Learn how to say ‘No’ to things you truly know you don’t want today and your journey to self-love begins.
WHY DO YOU FIND IT DIFFICULT TO SAY ‘NO’?
You might be someone who loves to please people all the time. But, are you sure you can please everyone? Come to think of it; upbringing also matters — some parents don’t allow self-expression because saying no to them means ‘rude’. When a child is brought up to always accept every request; saying ‘No’ will be quite difficult when they are grown. If you’ve been brought up not to have preferences; of course, it would harm your self-esteem and communication skills.
As an adult, you need to always speak up for yourself, but due to the upbringing you had, you’re likely to feel you’re not good and bold enough to look people in the eyes. Like: you know what? I don’t want to do this now. Smart! You just read how to say ‘No’.
You find ‘No’ difficult because you’ve been trained to think it’s a form of weakness — that is, you’re trying to run from a responsibility or task. So, for you to make people feel you’re up to the task, you can do it, you say ‘yes’ despite the inconveniences. But ‘No’, people will surely move on if something happens to you. Do you get it?
JUNCTURES WHERE YOU MUST SAY ‘NO’
When you start to feel uncomfortable with someone’s request. Please try and listen to your inner self and do what’s best for you. I’m sure your inner self is not fed up with how you stressed it with all the previous ‘yes’. Okay!
There are a caliber of people you just don’t like saying ‘No’ to; like your boss at work, uncles, aunties, even friends but no matter the situation. It’s pretty fine, but you just have to learn how to say ‘No’! It’s important for your life and living, and stop dancing to everybody’s mood swings.
When you have a lot of pending issues to resolve, learn to say ‘No’ to that new request so you don’t get overwhelmed with worries and work. Besides, it’s not good for your mental health. Remember, not only ‘smokers are liable to die young’.
If a request crosses your personal boundary; too much for you to even consider otherwise, say ‘No’! But isn’t it difficult to do this if you haven’t set standards for yourself. Yes, carve out boundaries and prioritise what makes you happy. Don’t forget how to say ‘No’ if your heartthrob is robbing you of your peace.
If you don’t want to say no directly, there are many other ways you can use in expressing disapproval such as the following:
Oh, I’m sorry I have something else to do.
Thanks for the offer, but I’m not available at the moment.
I’m sorry I won’t be able to go ahead with you.
I appreciate your concern, but I’d like to decline this.
Oh my God! Thank you. But I actually do have other plans.
@ Nigerian Tribune
